A Jolie nice girl

She's got the bone-structure to send men wild. She's got the lips, the – ahem – build and the legs to do the same. She's got an Oscar, Brad Pitt and a Benetton ad's worth of children, plus two more on the way. She's about to kick ass playing the appropriately-named Fox in new thriller Wanted – not to mention voicing a tiger in Kung Fu Panda. Let's hear it for Angelina Jolie...

Wow, Angelina, you really do have it all sorted by the looks of things. The kids, the occasionally violent movie career... do they ever overlap?
"Mad, our 6-year-old, draws lots of war scenarios. He's all into war and guns. So for Mother's Day he drew a machine gun, and Brad had it made into a necklace, which is really sweet." - Entertainment

Sweet isn't exactly the word that sprang to our minds, but hey, you're the gorgeous Oscar winner, we're just the sarcastic web people. So tell us a little about Wanted. It's all very slick and exciting and bullety. Not unlike Mr & Mrs Smith of course.
"Maybe this is Mrs. Smith after she killed Mr. Smith, went into depression, and got very, very, very moody." - Entertainment

Well, that's a cheery note to bring up the subject of marriage on... There are rumours aplenty, the twins are on the way. Are you and Brad getting hitched or what?
"You know, we're not against it; it's not something we're making a stand about or are scared of. It's just not felt necessary. We've both been married before and I think we feel like we are together because we want to be." - Sydney Morning Herald

And, of course, it would be marriage number three to actor number three...
"I actually was dead set against being with another actor before I met Brad. I was sure it was going to be a doctor in the field or some kind of human rights activist. The last thing I wanted was the epitome of the attractive male movie star." - Sydney Morning Herald

Yeah, yeah, go on, rub it in. Lovely partner, thriving career, that face when you look in the mirror...You probably even enjoy being pregnant.
"I love it. It makes me feel like a woman. It makes me feel that all the things about my body are suddenly there for a reason. It makes you feel round and supple, and to have a little life inside you is amazing. Also, I'm fortunate. I think some women have a different experience depending on their partner. I think that affects it. I happen to be with somebody who finds pregnancy very sexy. So that makes me feel very sexy." - Vanity Fair

Like you, of all people, needed to feel sexier. Of course, you realise we all assume you and Brad are having incredible, beautifully shot, Hollywood-style sex all the time because of who you are and your image.
"We find it silly because we are both so goofy and we know who we are. The fortunate thing is we have so many kids and so many things that ground us." - Sydney Morning Herald

Come on. There must be something bad about being Angelina Jolie? What about the fractured releationship with your dad? That's got to be a problem surely?
"We don't really have a relationship." - Vanity Fair

Aha! So there is a bad side to being Angelina Jolie?
"But we're in contact. And wish each other well." - Vanity Fair
"I think sometimes you have to distance yourself from relationships you feel are unhealthy for you. But we have spoken recently and we are going to try to get to know each other and maybe try not to be this daddy and daughter, but to be there for each other as friends in the coming years." - Sydney Morning Herald

For goodness sake... throw us a fricking bone here.
"Brad is the hardest person to shop for. He has impeccable design taste. And whenever he sees something he likes, he buys it for himself."

Oh well, guess that'll have to do. There you go. Being Angelina Jolie is hell. Briefly. At Christmas and on Brad's birthday.