Madonna - in her own words*

"There are no shortcuts to being Madonna." - UK Elle
Clearly not. But that sounds like hard work.

"It's all about hard work." - UK Elle
Steady there, Sergeant Major Madge. Surely there's an easier way?

"There is no easy way." - UK Elle.
Alrighty then...

"If you want to know how I look like I do, it's diet and exercise and constantly being careful." - UK Elle.
Well, you have been doing it a while...

"I feel stronger now than, maybe, 20 years ago - but I think your physicality is connected to your consciousness so if your mind is strong, your body will be strong." - Interview

We hear Guy's taken up Jujitsu. We're guessing that's out of fear...
"I don't get it — grown men throwing each other around." - US Elle
Grown men throwing each other around you don't understand but exchanging saliva with Britney and Christina is just another day at the office? Hmm. Moving swiftly on. On the subject of Guy, there's been a lot of speculation that you two are having problems. But you won't be drawn on that presumably?

"Posh and Becks are much more interesting. Maybe even Camilla and Charles." - UK Elle
And you turn 50 this August. Do you see that as a milestone?

"I see it as another excuse to have a birthday party!" - Interview
Good answer. Of course, many people hit 50 and start considering surgical solutions. You wouldn't do that though, would you?

"I'm not against plastic surgery, I'm just against discussing it." - UK Elle.
Another good answer. Surely though, you're tempted to just kick back, relax, shun the macrobiotics, drop the exercise and just binge?

"One of the worst things about Britain is that it has such fabulous candy. I love Cadbury Fruit & Nut, Crunchies and Maltesers. But my absolute favourite is a Cadbury Creme Egg. I bite straight in to it and suck all that good stuff right out!" - UK Elle
Which is a mental image that should please the boys. And, possibly, Britney and Christina...