They call the trio 'dark triads', which sounds quite sexy. I felt duty-bound to see if I had any of these qualities they like to call flaws.
1. Narcissistic self-obsession. Check. Not only do I possess this quality-cum-flaw, I love it.
2. Thrill-seeking. Check. I seek them here, I seek them there, but mostly I seek them in your underwear.
3. Machiavellian exploitation and deceitfulness. Check. Without these qualities I would be happily married or the victim of some similar life-ending fate involving commitment and possibly shelving. Sometimes deceit is all we have to get us out of an honest relationship.
My own theory is that it goes back to natural selection. In a dangerous environment, with woolly mammoths on your case, you don't want to be stuck with the man trying to understand the beast. You want to be with the most selfish, cunning ar*ehole in the cave. Because back in the day, nice guys didn't come second, they got eaten, which would account for why there are so many ar*holes on the planet today.
Curiously though, whenever women are questioned about what attracts them to a man, it's always a sense of humour, nice manners or a good manicure or something. What's wrong with deceitful self-obsession already?
Nothing, I tell thee, because my other theory is that women filling out these surveys don't want to reach deep into their sexual psyche to tell some gormless researcher what flips their pips. They lie!
Of course a sense of humour is important, but the most important? You can't kid a kidder. Are you going to shag Johnny Vegas?
See, I'm not convinced that women are any less shallow than men. And that's why bastards flourish in the shallow end of love, now the mammoth has been slain.
