Flirting rules at the office party

Don't get drunk and kiss someone just because you feel sorry for them or they look a bit sweet wearing reindeer antlers.

Don't decide that it's a good time to demonstrate your Strictly Come Dancing skills to the Pussycat Dolls... you wouldn't do it sober.

Don't bring the wrong guest. If you are entitled to bring a guest, try to avoid anyone who may rub off badly on you. This includes: your friends from AA meetings, your tupperware party pals, or your friend's horny chiwawa.

Don't do a Paris Hilton, Britney or Li-Lo and forget your undies – if you do wear a short skirt, remember to cross your legs like a lady whilst sitting (unless you're straddling legs akimbo on top of a photocopier somewhere – in which case remember to switch it off first).

Don't bitch. Talking about people, particularly when you've had too much to drink and are being spectacularly unsubtle with your volume levels is never cool. Especially when they're stood behind you.

Don't kiss arse. Sucking up to your bosses' boss may seem like a fast-track to the good-life, a corner office with a built in jacuzzi and the cherry-pick of business trips, but it will make you more enemies than you have already. If there is an attractive individual whose arse you wish to kiss, do attempt to do so in private. Or at least when nobody's looking.

Do take your mother's advice. Don't drink too much. Have the occasional glass of water. Eat something before you start drinking. And, whatever else, don't wake up in the arms (or armpits) of the IT manager. Unless they happen to star in Diet Coke ads in their spare time.

Do, above all, make sure you have a good time. Once a year it's great to let your hair down with your office pals. Just don't do it every weekend.

Do try and keep your hands to yourself. And if you don't know what to do with them, sit on them. And don't let anyone else sit on them either. That doesn't count.

Do wear a dress that's a smidgen shorter than appropriate but a smidgen longer than tarty.

Do practise a few escape lines, and have a get-out pal to aid your hasty retreat, should the need arise.